Doin' It For Some Doll
by Author0fntent
Summary: A musical look at Misato, Asuka, and Ritsuko's views on NERV's commander and Rei (who reveals herself in a new light), sung to the tune of "Guys and Dolls".


*Disclaimer: I own nothing of Gainax or MGM. Luck be a lady tonight that I don't have any legal eagles get the jump on me. Fair 'warning' for a slightly OOC Rei.*

A large spotlight falls onto a small stage as its red curtain rises up, revealing Misato, Asuka, and Ritsuko going about their usual business, until the music starts.

Misato [wearing her usual uniform but with a red fedora atop her head instead of her usual beret]:

_What's happenin' at NERV? I'll tell ya what's happenin' at NERV._

_Me and Kaji's snoopin' has been hintin' that the organization's_

_not really about wantin' to protect and serve..._

_THAT'S what's happenin' at NERV._

Asuka [in her yellow sundress with a matching fedora on her head]:

_What's happenin' with EVA? I'll tell ya what's been happenin' with EVA._

_No matter how much I've trained or tried, I still get overshadowed by_

_baka-Shinji who still manages to come and save-uh..._

_THAT'S what's happenin' with EVA._

Ritsuko [clad in her trademark lab coat with a purple pork pie hat]:

_What's happenin' in Terminal Dogma? I'll tell ya what's been happenin' in Terminal Dogma._

_Here I am, reluctantly helping to bring about the end of the world using clones _

_and a supercomputer based on the brain of my dead momma..._

_THAT'S what's happenin' in Terminal Dogma._

All three:

_All our predicaments are quite rotten._

Ritsuko:

_And there's a someone they all have in common._

[Rei walks past all three of them nonchalantly.]

Asuka:

Yes, her.

Misato:

_When these kids deploy, just two girls and a boy,_

_you can bet that they're willing to give their all._

Asuka:

_When I move out armed, with a progressive knife,_

_you can bet that I'm set, this is after all my purpose in life._

Ritsuko:

_When the sync rates climb, always just right on time,_

_of the three there's just one that's always small..._

Asuka:

_Call it sad, call it funny,_

_but it's from a girl not-so-sunny-_

_Wondergirl, or as I have called her, 'just some doll'._

[As the bridge plays, the trio dance a bit of soft-shoe, while Rei passes them by again, until she approaches Gendo Ikari, where her expression changes in contrast to her usual stoic self while she and the commander chat away.]

Misato:

_When I see his mug, that I just wanna slug,_

_I hold back, since he's the big boss with such GALL._

Ritsuko:

_When I see his face, as he praises the runt- _

_I let out quite a grunt, but quiet enough, so it isn't heard by 'Little-Miss-Blunt'._

Asuka:

_Never liked the guy, but I'd like to know why,_

_he likes her, yet never gives his son a call..._

All three:

_Call it hell, call it heaven,_

_it's a probable 12-to-7,_

_that the bastard's only doing it for his 'doll'._

[Another bridge plays as the trio dance once again. Gendo exits stage left, as Rei heads the other way, until the spotlight falls on her for her solo part.]

Rei:

_Let them yak and scoff. Just where do they get off?_

_I can't help if I know it's best to 'play ball'._

_Now I've got my doubts of the Commander's intent-_

_I'm just sussing them out, and waiting to pounce,_

_so his scheme can be rent [makes a slitting-the-throat motion]._

_So for now my ruse, will continue its use,_

_till such time where it's appropriate for it to fall._

_Call it dumb, call it clever, but it's gonna be now or never,_

_when I toss off the moniker of 'his doll'!_

Misato/Asuka/Ritsuko [joining in the dance number]:

_'His doll'!_

All four:

_'His doll'!_

_This gal's really tired of being 'his dooooooollllllll'!_

*Author's Note*  
And here we have the second entry in my unofficial 'EVA Sinatra' trilogy. I know I said before it'd be the 'three stooges' doing this number, but then I had the idea of doing it from the female characters' vantage instead, with the little twist with Rei at the end. Tune in next time when Asuka takes the spotlight in a more melancholic fashion, involving a piece written by Sondheim.


End file.
